Tweet Me Back, Jeremy Lin
So Slewis came out to visit last week, and we had a killer time. Just like hanging out in parks, eating food, watching Hart of Dixie, shit like that. We also paid a visit to Oracle Arena, to watch my local medium-mighty Warriors take on the about-the-same-level-of-mightiness Rockets. They lost, which sucked. But it was ok for a few reasons. Here are the reasons: 1. Either the Rockets or...
Tweet Me Back, Roy Hibbert
Sup y’all. Today we are tweeting Roy Hibbert. Tomorrow? Nobody knows. I could dissolve back into internet space never to be seen again. Or, like, I could post every day like a good blogger. Who really knows anymore. Point is: LOOK AT THIS PUPPY THAT ROY HIBBERT IS GETTING. Thinking of puppy names for this one. He’ll be here soon! twitter.com/Hoya2aPacer/st… February 28, 2013 ...
Anonymous asked: Hasheem Thabeet? He tweets in all caps.
Tweet Me Back, Robin Lopez
Hey y’all! Oh man, remember like a month and a half ago when I SWORE that I wasn’t going to abandon Tweet Me Back, NBA anymore and then I did pretty ok for a week or so and then guess what happened? Correct. I am a HUUUGE abandoner and I abandoned TMBNBA. I’m sorry. A of all, there is no excuse for blog-abandonment. B of all, here are my excuses. Excuse # 1: All of my...
Tweet Me Back, Kevin Love!
Really sad news y’all. Kevin Love broke his handy in practice today and is going to be out 4-8 weeks, so he’ll probably miss the beginning of the season. Injuries are always sad (let’s all take this moment to shed a tear for Ray Lewis), even when they happen to someone you super hate, but they are especially sad when they happen to national treasures. So Slewis and I made...
Tweet Me Back, David Lee!
So I know two posts in the one day (nay, one HOUR) is a little out of character, but I cannot not share this with you. Via David Lee’s (#worththemoney) instagram: @dlee042 lit’rally the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. — slisl (@slisl) October 13, 2012 Those dudes better watch their specs; I broke my glasses dancing Gangnam Style three weeks ago.
Tweet Me Back, Paul George
Let’s talk about the photo above, which Paul George just posted to instagram, captioned “Year 3!” So I realize that in this photo Paul George is probably viciously dunking on Nikola Pekovic, while Roy Hibbert, looks on in disbelief and Andrei Kirilenko observes, bemused. But I can’t help but think it really looks like something else: Paul Hibbert violently decapitating...
Tweet Me Back, Jared Dudley
So I have beef with with the NFL’s new uniforms. I know there have been a lot of complaints from players themselves that the new uniforms make them look like they’ve eaten babies, but that is not what I’m beefing about. I’m beefing because Nike, despite its tremendous amount of technology/resources/types of fabric, has yet to solve the most serious NFL uniform problem of...
Tweet Me Back, Boogie Cousins!
I’m back! I’m back back back back back! Hopefully this will be my last long absence. My summer of travel/workdeath is finally over, and someone actually asked me in PERSON (Shout out to Alex!) when the blog was coming back, bringing reader-count up to at least 4. At least a month ago my BBFB (Best Basketball Friend Biff) requested I tweet Boogie Cousins (some of y’all may know...
Tweet Me Back, DeShawn Stevenson
Guys. GUYS. DeShawn Stevenson personally asked for MY advice on a question of utmost importance: what is the best slogan for his new nightclub “Off-Limits?” First of all let me say that, in the previous sentence, when I said DeShawn Stevenson asked for MY advice I really mean that he asked for “everyone on Twitter’s” advice, but probably because he doesn’t...
Tweet Me Back, Deron Williams
Deron Williams got to hang out with The President Clinton. See? SEEEE????? I wanna hang out with President Clinton! How come you didn’t invite me, Deron? How come??? @deronwilliams What? WHUTTT????? So JEAL!! Next time can I come? Also can you ask him where he got that sweater? It would look great on me. — slisl (@slisl) August 27, 2012 Also it was a little misleading that you said...
Tweet Me Back, Andre Iguodala
Andre Iguodala got a new backpack today, guys! Want to see what Andre Iguodala’s new backpack looks like? Of course you do. Backpack came in… Getting ready for school…. instagr.am/p/OpV7T2lQAb/ — Andre Iguodala (@mindofAI9) August 22, 2012 You guys, I don’t want to be mean or anything, but I think Andre Iguodala might be a little out of touch with what school is...
Tweet Me Back, Amar'e Stoudemire
AAAAHHHH!!! I’m back again, this time from Oregon, where there is no internet. At all. In the entire state. Just kidding; it would be insane if you believed me when I said that. But seriously, where I was there was no internet. And so many internet things happened! Robert Pattinson had a super awk interview! Some asshole said some dickish shit about rape. WTF asshole? You suck. Nicki Minaj...
Tweet Me Back, Dwight Howard
Did you guys know that today is a great day??? I had cheese-melted-on-bread for breakfast! (This is a great breakfast. Actually, a great any meal). I ditched the first half of work to eat said breakfast with a visiting college friend! I have two happy hours to attend (one has ice cream!) and my housewarming/birthday/roommate welcome party is tonight! Oh yeah, also Dwight Howard is a Laker...
Tweet Me Back, Nic Batum
If you haven’t heard, Nic Batum nut-punched Juan Carlos Navarro today. Here is Nic Batum on whacking Juan Carlos Navarro in his delicates: “I wanted to give him a good reason to flop” @nicolas88batum Interesting flop-policing strategy. I’m unsure about its efficacy, but look forward to an exciting NBA season if it works. — slisl (@slisl) August 8, 2012 Nic Batum:...
Tweet me back, Steve Nash
Dear person who broke my car window: What the fuck, dude? Why the fuck would you break my car window and not even steal something? Don’t you want anything that is in my car? You just broke my car window for no fucking reason, just to be mean? Did you know it was my birthday??? Here are the things that are currently still in my car that you decided not to steal, and an explanation of...
Tweet me back, Dirk Nowitzki
This morning I was worried that Dirk Nowitzki had gone insane: Stark brittaaaa. — Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) July 30, 2012 Whaaat? What does that mean? Is your Brita filter stark naked? Did you steal Tony Stark’s Brita filter? Do you realize you’re spelling Brita wrong? I was determined to get to the bottom of this. So I googled “Stark brittaaaa.” There, I found...
Tweet me back, Kevin Love
I’m back bitchezzzzz! Sorry, 3 people who read my blog, for the lack of posting, but I was learning about corals and going to Mordor and also, FACT: all internet in Australia and New Zealand fucking sucks. In Australia the wifi is free and the slowest shit I have ever encountered and in New Zealand you pay by the goddamn megabyte. What the shit people? Anyhoodle, I know I’m about...
Tweet me back, DeJuan Blair
Ok, so right now where I’m at it’s Saturday and where America is at it is Friday, but I am going to do a Dress Like an NBA Player Thursdays because I did dress up like an NBA player on Thursday it’s just that the SFO wireless fucking sucks so I couldn’t tell y’all about it. I swore that I was not (NOT) going to spend real money dressing like NBA players, because, well...
Tweet Me Back, Shawn Marion
BREAKING: Shawn Marion, on the birthday of our Nation, has chosen to NOT wear socks. I repeat: no socks on Shawn Marion’s feet. He apologizes and explains that his socklessness is merely an effort to combat the summer heat. Lol sorry it’s been too hot for socks — Shawn Marion (@matrix31) July 4, 2012 I, personally, find it to be a terrible affront to our Nation’s history...
Tweet Me Back, Joe Johnson
I have this theory about Joe Johnson that I would remember/care that he exists five times more effectively if he was named literally any other name. Joe Johnson is really good at basketball, but I always fucking forget about him because his name is Joe Johnson! Ditto Josh Smith and therefore kind of the Hawks in general. And I’m not saying that you need to be named after a cut of beef...
Tweet me back, Anthony Davis
Last night 60 more young men got added to the list of people I will bother over Twitter. My Lakes grabbed some dude who’s last name is half-Odom, I’m assuming as a personal apology to me for ripping my heart out last fall. And also our very own Mr. Irrelevant, who is tall. But obv, that is not really like the “big thing” from last night. The big thing was on one...
Tweet me back, Devin Ebanks
@DevinEbanks3 Yo which way is it going? You gotta be more specific. — slisl (@slisl) June 26, 2012 I would recommend a preposition! Devin Ebanks: @DevinEbanks3
Tweet Me Back, JaVale McGee
I made a mistake this weekend. I make a lot of mistakes, pretty much all the time, likely because there is something wrong with my brain. Here are some pictures of mistakes I made recently: From top left: too many pepper flakes on my soup, dropped froyo, too many pepper flakes on my pasta (I don’t learn), dropped compost. The mistake I made this weekend eclipsed all of those. I tied...
Tweet me back, Ty Lawson. OH WAIT YOU DID!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! I tweeted Ty Lawson and, before I even got a chance to tumblr about tweeting Ty Lawson, he tweeted me back! HE TWEETED ME BACK!!!! :D :D :D :D Ok. Got that out of my system. Sort of. Not really actually. One more time. TY LAWSON MOTHERFUCKING TWEETED ME BACK AAAAAHHHH :D :D :D X FOREVER. Ok for reals I’m done now. Here is a breakdown of what happened....
Tweet me back, Kevin Durant
You guys, I was so excited for today. For SURE the Thunder would come out swinging. We all thought they were on the brink against the Spurs right? I’m writing this midway through the fourth quarter. Oof. To celebrate what I thought was the Thunder’s sure win, I was going to roll out a new feature: “Dress Like an NBA Player Thursday.” Well I dressed like KD today, but I...
Tweet me back, Cole Aldrich
@colea45im not sure who you are. — slisl (@slisl) June 20, 2012 Seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this person before. Cole Aldrich: @colea45
Tweet me back, Nazr Mohammed
When you’ve set a personal goal of getting an NBA Player to tweet you back, and devote an inordinate amount of energy and resources to that goal, you follow a lot of NBA players on Twitter. When you follow a lot of NBA players on Twitter you learn a lot of things that are awesome to know, such as: 1) Which NBA players are friends (or at least which ones go to Vegas together). 2) Which...
Tweet me back, Serge Ibaka
I was watching Game 2 with a friend of mine who watches basketball less frequently than I do. She said “who’s Sir Chewbacca?” The best way to deal with this problem is probably to take it to the top: @sergeibaka9 Yo, I think you should let the announcers know to work on their diction when they’re saying your name. #sirchewbacca — slisl (@slisl) June 15, 2012 Serge...
Tweet Me Back, Thabo Sefolosha
So I’ve decided, in a show of solidarity, to only tweet Thunder players for the duration of the finals. Now you could argue that harassing NBA players over Twitter is not a form of support, and I should instead spend the next 2 weeks bothering Heat players. But I’m pretty sure the Thunder know that “pay attention to meeee” is roughly equivalent to “I want you to win...
Tweet me back, James Harden
You guys, I am SO pumped for this finals. Like for reals, I know my team (Lakes) are long gone (god rest their weary souls), but that just makes it possible for me to be pumped, flailing and superexcited rather than constantly nauseous, wincing and generally fraying at the edges. I want to know if there is a point in fandom where you start to enjoy watching your team play again, because...
Tweet me back, Danilo Gallinari
I FUCKING LOVE CHERRY TOMATOES! They are so bursty and small and tomato-y. They are one of my favorite things. I bought a salad today with cherry tomatos and it was incredible! Sometimes I only eat cherry tomatoes. If I was a food blogger, I would only blog about cherry tomatoes. So good! In fact, I think that cherry tomatoes are one of the best things to eat when you are hungover. Once I had...
Tweet me back, Chris Bosh
UGGHHHH. My DVR is not workinggggg. Is there anyone who can run by my house and, like, manually record the game tonight? Anyone? Bosh, I know you’re a “game-time decision” and all, but you’re probably not doing anything right? @chrisbosh Hey if you end up not playing tonight, can you swing by my place and set the DVR to record? Thx — slisl (@slisl) June 5, 2012 You can...
Tweet me back, Rajon Rondo
So I check the weather this morning before getting dressed, and Weather is all like “50% of precipitation.” But I looked outside, and I knew what I saw, and I called Weather’s bluff. “No fucking way is it going to rain,” said I, and I proceeded to dress head to toe in rain-inappropriate attire. I think you can tell where this one is going. I am not more than a...
Tweet me back, Eric Bledsoe
Guys, I’m trying to figure out my plans for Friday night! I’ve got a few options lined up. 1. Stay at work late. 2. Pack up the shit in my kitchen because I’m moving tomorrow. 3. Drive up to San Francisco; eat at some food trucks. Any better ideas, guys?[[MORE]] Bout to watch this game a play some cards! Who want it??? — EBled24(@EBled24) June 2, 2012 Oh, what’s...
Tweet me back, Mareese Speights
TODAY SUCKS Y’ALL. @Mospeights16 NOTHING IS GOOD. EVERYTHING IS BAD. I’M HAVING A BAD DAY. — slisl (@slisl) May 31, 2012 Mareese Speights: @Mospeights16
Tweet me back, JR Smith
This morning JR Smith exercised a surprising amount of self-control and decided against tweeting something ill-advised: i was bout to tweeting something but i caught my self lol thank god! #WOW — JR Smith (@TheRealJRSmith) May 30, 2012 Wait, what? No! JR Smith, you can’t just do that! You have to tell us now! What were you going to tweet that was so #WOW that you, JR Smith, couldn’t...
Tweet me back, Chris Paul
@CP3 Sorry :( — slisl (@slisl) May 29, 2012 :( Chris Paul: @CP3 Image Via RealGM
Tweet me back, Andrew Bogut!
No joke, this is straight up adorable. A gift to Andrew Bogut from his neighbor: He rang the door bell and left it on my door step and ran away! #awesome — Andrew Bogut (@AndrewMBogut) May 28, 2012 [[MORE]]So Andrew Bogut’s all like “this kid deserves a signed jersey,” and here’s what I’m thinking: heartwarming hand-drawn card from sweet neighborhood kid = signed...
Tweet me back, Mo Williams
Mo williams has got some ill socks on today. #sockganginstagr.am/p/LI_LpsnfWz/ — Mo Williams (@mowilliams) May 27, 2012 Me too, Mo Williams! ME TOO!!! @mowilliams can I join the #sockgang ? instagr.am/p/LJC3HKJkP3/ — slisl (@slisl) May 27, 2012 Mo Williams: @mowilliams
Tweet me back, Joakim Noah
Today has all the makings of a bad day: I’m at work on a Saturday morning, my manicure is chipping, and the Celtics have a chance to make it to the Eastern Conference Finals while my Lakers languish idly on their couches watching film of their recent failures. Thank god for my favorite video of Joakim Noah. This video is called “Joakim Noah is NOT a fan of Kevin Garnett” and you...
Tweet me back, Evan Turner
Evan Turner is on my mind today. Evan Turner is on my mind most days because FACT: Evan Turner is the cutest NBA player. See? You’re welcome. Do you know what’s on Evan Turner’s mind? Relevancy:[[MORE]] It kills me when the irrelevant think they are relevant lol. I laugh at people’s ignorance — evan turner (@thekidet) May 24, 2012 Why are you hating on the...