Did you guys know that today is a great day??? I had cheese-melted-on-bread for breakfast! (This is a great breakfast. Actually, a great any meal). I ditched the first half of work to eat said breakfast with a visiting college friend! I have two happy hours to attend (one has ice cream!) and my housewarming/birthday/roommate welcome party is tonight! Oh yeah, also Dwight Howard is a Laker now!
SERIOUS BASKETBALL NOTE: I’m not even a little bit in the “everything is fixed now, let’s not even bother playing the season, Lakers win forever the end,” camp. I still think it’s entirely possible/probable that Kobe goes 3 for 23 every game and shoots us out of a championship. That said, I’m the most pessimistic sports fan I know.
Anyway, here’s what JaVale McGee thinks:
RT @javalemcgee34 PIERRE IS QUESTIONING THE NEW ERA OF SUPER TEAMS AND NOT CARING ABOUT SALARY CAPS!
In case you are wondering what is going on here, JaVale McGee spent the morning retweeting himself tweeting in the third person as his alter-ego Pierre McGee. Got that?
RT @javalemcgee34 PIERRE FEEL LIKE THE NUGS ARE SUPER STRAIGHT THIS YR! 😜🏀
What the fuck, dude? Why the fuck would you break my car window and not even steal something? Don’t you want anything that is in my car? You just broke my car window for no fucking reason, just to be mean? Did you know it was my birthday???
Here are the things that are currently still in my car that you decided not to steal, and an explanation of their obvious value:
5. LFO CD - are you fucking kidding me? Summertime Girls is a CLASSIC SONG. How do you not want this CD?
6. Early Middle Ages History lecture series CDs - educates on the subject of Early Middle Ages
7. High Middle Ages History lecture series CDs - as above, but for High Middle Ages
8. Kleenex - keeps nose clean
At least I have a pretty good idea of who smashed my car window, based on what he or she did not steal. But who can help me solve this mystery? Bourne Laker, perhaps!
Yes, Steve Nash is parodying movie trailers this summer. Amazing.
@stevenash Looking for a person who has no allergies, ugly ears, warm beer; hates music/history, breaks car windows. Can Bourne Laker help?
Last night 60 more young men got added to the list of people I will bother over Twitter. My Lakes grabbed some dude who’s last name is half-Odom, I’m assuming as a personal apology to me for ripping my heart out last fall. And also our very own Mr. Irrelevant, who is tall.
But obv, that is not really like the “big thing” from last night. The big thing was on one Anthony Davis’ face, and it was a Hornets hat. Just kidding it was his giant eyebrow! Just kidding neither of those things were a very exciting “big thing” because he’s had that eyebrow for a really long time and also we already knew he was going to the Hornets. Hooray for the NBA Draft! You are… super boring. Anyway, welcome to the NBA, Anthony.
@AntDavis23 Did you know that your first rite of passage as an NBA player is to tweet me back?
